At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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