Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever

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(941): View more from Florida

how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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(208): View more from Idaho

We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!

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