I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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