Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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