are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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