I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
