i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
