I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
