I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
