so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
try to milk me bitch
I see more hoeing in ur future
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