i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
