i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
