Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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