sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
