My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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