It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
