I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
