I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
