At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think your dad took our porno
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize