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Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
