I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Even my vagina gasped.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
