i may or may not be watching the land before time
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I need to align my fucking chakras
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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