Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
