i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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