Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
