Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
