Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize