Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
