Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
