Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
