Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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