the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
