I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
