Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
