I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
