I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
