I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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