So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize