At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It was confusing and full of hummus
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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