I cockslap morals
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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