mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
