i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
we're so committed to being not committed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
