Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
