I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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