I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Duck Duck Cougar?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
