Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
