I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
