Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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