I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
