just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's just like the Real World with babies
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
