Sponge bath it is.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize