Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
