how hairy? two words: wookie tits
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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