I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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