She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
