I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
