Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize