They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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