There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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