Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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