i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dicks are not precious.
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