I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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