Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
