She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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