I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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