Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
