Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
