If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
