The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
