I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize