WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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