Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
