I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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