im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
