Im at strip club and am horny
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
