Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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