these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
