third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Houston, we have a squirter
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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