you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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