We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
